surprise post!

Okay, seriously, I did not expect to run across anything else today that would catch my attention enough to share it on here, but I was surprised. A friend shared this video on facebook & it pretty much exploded my brain. I knew that it took strength & confidence to dance on a pole, but hohmygosh.

I'm not sure how I feel about the title of the video, but this lady is pretty much amazing. She makes me literally want to go out right now & sign up for a pole-dancing class. To see someone that skilled & talented... wow. I'm pretty sure if you touched her with your finger, her muscles would punch back & break your entire hand.

However, while finding this on youtube to share with you all (couldn't share it from facebook, such bs), I found something else that pretty much reminded me that the world is just pure crap. I'm a little behind on seeing this (it's from 2012) but oh man. This lady makes me a LOT less jealous of the woman above and a lot MORE jealous of her-

This beautiful woman got up on stage in front of hundreds of people, which was then broadcast on TV to millions, then shared on the internets to BILLIONS. She did it wearing an outfit I'd be nervous to wear in the bedroom for a SO.

It literally took me FIFTEEN MINUTES to find a version of this not labeled 'fat lulu' or 'fat woman pole dances'. This woman's name is not Fat Lulu (unlike Fat Amy, who is a fictional character & is portrayed by the incredible Rebel Wilson). This woman's name is Lulu. She has a child & just wants to show that child that you can achieve any dream you put your mind to. The comments & hateful attitude towards her... ugh. Turns my stomach.

Bigger women are not disgusting any more than skinny women are.

We are all just women.
Some are big and some are small.
Some are short and some are tall.

There is no better or worse.

Everything in our life is just a matter of personal preference. And it's my preference to be much more like Lulu than the (unnamed but fantastic) woman from the first video. See, the one from the first video is great. She is beautiful, strong, in shape, confident, fabulous. When she walks down the street, men stop & stare. Women mumble about how damn hot she is and why aren't we so damn hot?!?!

But Lulu.. when she walks down the street, some men may stop & stare. It may be because of her beautiful face, but it could also be because of her size. To wonder at why such a woman would go out in public. Women will look at her & see someone on their own level, someone with plenty of visible flaws to pick at & make fun of. Sure, some of them may also notice her beautiful face, but in today's world it's definitely not likely. Despite this fact, and it is a FACT (anyone who grew up heavier & made it to 27 years of age without offing yourself will know exactly how hard it is to be 'plus sized') Lulu got up on this stage. She did her thing. And honestly, she rocked the HELL out of it. She looked absolutely fantastic up there. And I honestly hate the comments about the pole wobbling. Of course it is. It isn't secured at the top. I didn't see it fall over though, did you? That's what I thought. Lulu put her psyche & her self-esteem & confidence on the line to prove a point. And that point was this (thankfully said by that guy who is married to Mariah Carey.... oh yeah nick cannon)-

BIG GIRLS CAN DO IT TOO!

We are made to judge. Even though we're not supposed to, we all do it. And it's awful and rude and pointless. BUT WE DO IT. EVERY SINGLE DAY. MULTIPLE TIMES IN A DAY.


Maybe we should take a step back & try to commit to ceasing the snap judgments of people. It's not an easy task to undertake, but I'm gonna get started today.

What's the worst snap judgment anyone has ever made on you that was totally false?

Being a larger lady, a single mom, having tattoos, & a totally insane wardrobe, I pretty much get judged on the daily, before I even open my mouth.

What's the worst snap judgment you have ever made on someone that turned out to be false?

toodles!

day two.

Hello, again! While I'm smart enough to realize that there are not many, if any, people reading this so far, it's more for me than it is for anyone else. So no probs. :))

I woke up this morning literally feeling fantastic. Jumped outta my bed with no pain, no headache, no sore throat. I feel like a huge has weight has been lifted off my shoulders & I can only attribute that to starting this blog yesterday. Woop woop!

Since I work from home currently, I get to spend plenty of time messing around on the computer, looking at hilariousness. So, I feel like sharing some good stuffs.


INTRODUCING.... MARKIPLIER!

The following is a snippet from his bio on Wikitubia. If you'd like to read the whole thing, please click here.

"Mark Edward Fischbach (Born June 28, 1989) is a YouTube personality who goes under the name Markiplier, who primarily uploads playthroughs of various video games. He has accumulated more than 1,000,000 subscribers, and makes a video every 100,000 subscribers or so to show his gratitude. He is prominently known for his videos pertaining to 'Slender', 'SCP: Containment Breach', 'Drunk Minecraft', 'Cry Of Fear', 'Amnesia Custom Stories' and 'Happy Wheels Highlights'."

This fella here is literally a combination of silly, genius, pitiful, & talented. He has taken a childhood passion (gaming) & turned it into a way of life. While I'm not really a gamer myself, I was introduced to him by my roommate (the elusive J) & after a few minutes of watching I was done. His personality is literally one of those that suck you in & make you not only want to be friends with him, but to actually BE him.

His videos are mostly of him playing various games (although he does try his hand at animation & parodies). However, when watching him play Slender: The Arrival, we had a legit connection. (not familiar with the Slender Man? that's ok! click heeeeere!) I screamed with him. I cursed with him. Squealed with him. Stared in abject horror with him. And felt all the frustration & terror that he felt.

Ok, so, maybe it sounds like I have more than just admirable feelings for Markiplier. Whether or not that is the case, though, is not up for discussion here. His amazingness is. Watching him do his thing & genuinely enjoy is enough to make you feel empowered about following your own dreams.

And Youtube is not his only gig. This fella is also EXTREMELY kind & giving & is super passionate about helping others. Back in August, he ran a charity drive for Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Click the link to view his page & see just how much he was able to raise for such an amazing cause.

I'm gonna share with you a viddddddeo of Mister Mark. It's one of his "highlights" videos, so it will give you a quick example of what he does & why he's so wonderful.

(please be advised that there is some SERIOUS language in the video, which is another reason I adore him so. i'm a huge potty mouth myself.)

 

Give this silly man a shot & check out his websites-

Tumblr
Youtube

Facebook

 

Well, that's all I have for you today folks(?).

I'll leave you with wishes of a fantastic weekend & a daily photo-
my desktop on the HP laptop I use for everything.

quick question for anyone actually participating in this crazy experiment of mine-

PC or Apple? Why? :))

TOOOOODLES!

day one. welcome!

I have absolutely no idea how to be a mother. Sometimes, in the midst of talking to my children, I think to myself- "Oh no.. I'm responsible for getting you to age 18 alive. I can't do this."

Being a mother is literally the most unforgiving, painful, exhausting cycle I have ever been through. Today, for example, I am miserable. My head is pounding, my throat is sore, nose is running, & body is aching. But, alas, I am still in charge of dinner, because there are two tiny people who would really like to eat. I'd love to say that I fed them with a smile on my face, but the grunts & winces of pain were coming from me, with every step I took.

I realize that I am not alone in this way of thinking. And I also realize that those women who never, ever freak out about being a mother are liars. Huge, disgusting liars. Because there is absolutely nothing cool and chill and relaxed about BEING IN CHARGE OF ANOTHER HUMAN. Seriously, shut up with the bragging about how cool you are & how you go with the flow. We all know that when you're home at night, lying in bed, drinking wine & watching Netflix after the kids are asleep, that you secretly wonder if you're literally the world's worst mother or just the runner-up.

Today, I felt like the worst. To be fair, this week has really kicked me in the kidneys. Both my electric & water bills need money put on them before a shut-off happens, I have no gas in my car, & I really just feel like jumping off the roof. And my impending unemployment is both scaring me and encouraging me.

I thought about potential job places today and the first one I'm going to look into is our local paper. I actually won a scholarship my senior year of high school from them & I've always been into writing & interviewing & photo-snapping. They recently let go of one of their reporters/photographers, so I figure now is the best time to check it out. I have a pretty horrible fear of rejection, but I'm hoping to push past it & get this spot!

-In the midst of this daily breakdown, I feel like inserting a few photos, so you get a sense of who my little family is. :))

                                                                     calvin & i

                                                                 the terrible two

tobin & i

My boys are 6 & 4, but will be turning 7 in May (Tobin! Whaaaa?) and 5 in April (Calvin.. no..). Obviously, I'm having some problems coming to terms with the fact that my children are actually becoming people. The thought alone truly terrifies me. But anyway, back to my job search-

I'm hoping that 2014 is really a different experience than 2013 was. I feel like last year was the year I really stepped up & demanded my independence (oh yeah, I just neglected to think about the hard parts- ie, bills, gas money, house things, bills). But this year, I'm ready to push boundaries & do something I've always been afraid of.

 

I want to leave my hometown.

Moving scares the beejeezus out of me. The thought of being outside of my comfort zone, away from some of my closest friends... ugh I get antsy just considering it. But the upcoming move of the woman I nanny for (who also happens to be one of my closest friends & her children are my godchildren & all) has pushed me to really consider. If I actually secure a job in or around the area she is moving to, then a full move won't be far behind. I've actually set a goal to actively pursue this & I feel that writing it on here means that I can't just neglect it. I do have other family & friends who live where she is moving to, so I feel like the transition won't be too terribly difficult. I hope to see some support & encouragement from some of my local friends, but I'm sure they'll all try to talk me out of it again.

I would love to continue spilling my guts & getting to know myself, but I can barely continue typing. So exhausted. Before I go though, I do plan on having some weekly themes in the blog, along with a daily photo. I'm going to work a little more on the themes tonight (while trying to sleep, ha ha), but starting daily photo today! :))

Even though I feel miserable today, here is some cuteness-

just me. chillin'.


Thank you for taking the time to stop in & peek at my day!
Toodles!