not much to report, my frans. still been fighting the sickness. it has literally destroyed my body and my hope ha ha. today is finally a day where I feel just fine. not 100%, but just enough to get dressed and put on a bit of makeup. I ACTUALLY HAVE A BRA ON FOR GOD'S SAKE.
and i may have also made my return therapy appointment today. I know. i'm totally equal parts excited and terrified. i said before that i would one day get into the reason I had to quit going, so today seems as good as any.
there was a girl. I had grown up with her, but because she was a few years older than me, we lost touch. when therapy was going great, a women's trauma group was planned. the very first day there I met her again. we instantly started catching up and getting to know each other again. I also made connections with several other ladies in the group. I felt like this was going to be great.
we got close pretty quickly. both of us suffer from similar problems. and if you know me, you know that I am a caretaker. it is my job in life to take care of others. well, at least that's how I see it. so I did my best. I tried to help her. work with her. teach her. try to help her cope with her problems.
yeeeah, I'd like to say I did a slammin' job. i'd like to say I helped her. but in reality, she wore me down. she exhausted me. it wasn't even that she had issues, because I have issues. but it's that it was the exact same issues every single time. no matter what I told her or how I tried to help her, it never changed. she was always upset about the same things. I couldn't take it any more.
so I tried so hard to say it right. to word it so that she would not misunderstand me.
but she has the same problems as me. including not being able to clearly discern someone's intentions. here was our last, facebook, conversation. we texted as well, but it was all the same shit.
